Return of the ET Meatballs
by Holly McLean
Summary: Originally written as a grade nine english project . . . Return of the ET Meatballs has landed on a web browser near you. It's the year 18 A.E. and Akima are out to dinner at a restaurant on Bob . . . what do they encounter on their trip?


**Return of the ET Meatballs******

**18 A.E.**   
**New Earth (Planet Bob)**

In the year 3028, the Drej, a vicious alien race, destroyed Earth with a powerful bomb of energy. Many humans escaped, along with a single craft that could save the entire race. Named the Titan, its creator, Sam Tucker, hid it carefully in deep space where the Drej would never find it.   
Fifteen years after the destruction of Earth, Sam's son, Cale, and a small crew of friends finally sought out the Titan, destroying the Drej. The Titan's secret was unleashed using a genetically encoded ring Cale's father gave him as a child. Once activated, a new planet was created through an unbelievable surge of power. The planet was known as New Earth, or also "Bob" according to Cale.

"And here we are, my lady," Cale said with a sweeping bow, helping his girlfriend, Akima, out of the small space-cab.   
"Why, thank you, my kind sir," she giggled, taking his arm.   
Cale retrieved his pay-card from the driver and slipped it into the pocket of his pants. He ran a hand through his thick blond hair before reaching to open the restaurant door.   
"Your hair looks fine," Akima whispered to him as they entered the building.   
"And I'm very confident it does," Cale replied in a haughty voice, his green eyes twinkling.   
"Don't get all high and mighty on me now," she laughed.   
"A table for two, sir?" a waiter approached the pair.   
"That'll work," Cale nodded as they were led to a table.   
"Would you like menus?" the waiter asked.   
"What's your special?" Cale inquired, leaning his elbows on the table.   
"The special is scrumptious meatballs in a delicate tomato sauce on an Italian pasta," he recited.   
"So, in other words, spaghetti and meatballs?" Cale asked, raising an eyebrow.   
"Uh, yes, sir," the waiter nodded, his face blushing a faint red.   
"I'll have that," Cale nodded, shifting his gaze to Akima.   
"I'll have the same," she said.   
"Very good, ma'am," the waiter nodded, punching the orders into his order pad. "And to drink?"   
"I'll have an iced tea," Cale said.   
"Just water for me, thanks," Akima replied with a smile.   
"Will there be anything else?" the waiter asked.   
The pair shook their heads no and he disappeared from their table.   
"Well, this place is interesting," Cale commented, glancing around the dark, dismal room. "Enough red and black?"   
"Yes, well, I thought it was romantic," Akima replied. She sipped her water and kicked his leg under the table.   
Cale groaned and grabbed his knee. "That's what you call romance?"   
"Not exactly," she smiled. "But I guess there's nothing wrong with a little bit of violence in a relationship."   
Nearly twenty minutes later, two plates were set down at the couple's table. Cale immediately took notice of the squirming meatballs. They looked strangely familiar to him . . . like something he had seen in the cafeteria of his old workstation. Something certainly smelled familiar.   
"Uh, you've eaten this stuff?" Cale raised an eyebrow at the waiter.   
"Of course, sir," he nodded. "I've had this meal countless times before. It is a favourite of the restaurant."   
"It just reminds me of . . . well, never mind," Cale waved him off. "That'll be all."   
Cale looked over at Akima and laughed out loud. She was staring at her plate with a look that he wasn't quite sure how to interpret. He assumed it was a look of interest, or possibly disgust. Maybe both.   
"What are these things?" she finally spoke, looking up at him.   
"I'm not sure specifically, but those squirming meatballs looks a lot like lunch at the old salvage station," Cale began to explain. "You see, the aliens out on that asteroid preferred real meat over the fake stuff. Then our cook found these grubs eating one of his shipments and—"   
"And he served you _grubs_?" Akima interrupted, the look of disgust on her face now clearly displayed.   
"Yeah, and they weren't all that bad when they were well-cooked," Cale continued, trying to ignore the squirming meat on his plate. "But as you can tell, they were usually done pretty rare. We called them ET meatballs. They've come back to haunt me!"   
"Cale, that's disgusting!" Akima exclaimed.   
"Well, dig in," Cale laughed. He picked up his fork and playfully poked one of the critters.   
The meatball jumped about five feet and landed with a plop on the next table over. Cale and Akima shared a look of surprise and cringed when a shrill scream rang out.   
_Uh oh._ Cale clasped his hands together in a quick prayer, crying out when something hit him in the back of the head. He turned, and saw a young woman poised with a purse in hand. She swung the weapon again and struck him across the face.   
"Ow!" Cale shouted, holding his arms up as protection. "I'm sorry! It jumped off my plate!"   
"Oh, I'll bet," the woman fumed, stomping off to complain.   
Cale turned to Akima, his eyes still wide in pain. Akima laughed and handed him some ice, neatly wrapped in her napkin. "It's good to know you're still human, honey."   
Cale shot her a look and put the ice on his swollen upper lip. _Not impressed, 'kima._   
Turning his gaze in the direction his assaulter had gone, he now saw a stern looking man in a suit coming his way. The tag on his left breast distinctly read "Manager" in big red letters. _This isn't good . . ._   
"Sir, I would like to ask that you and the lady now leave my restaurant," he spoke as he approached the table.   
"What?!" Cale screeched. "Some woman just whacked me twice with her purse and_ I_ have to leave?"   
"This is the first I've heard of the complaint. It was you that tossed your food onto her table, and the evidence is right there." The manager glanced over at the meatball on white table cloth.   
Cale looked over, and sure enough, there sat the unmoving meatball. _ Oh, so now it dies._   
"Can't we work something out?" Cale asked. "I just brought my girlfriend here for a nice dinner—"   
"Ahem?" Akima cut him off, looking at him expectantly.   
"Okay, okay," Cale rolled his eyes. "She brought me here, and then _your_ food jumped off _my_ plate onto that woman's table. Just look!" He pointed to the meatballs still on his plate.   
The man looked down before giving Cale an incredulous look. Cale took a quick glance down and realized the rest of the meatballs had fallen asleep atop the warm pasta. _Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot._   
"Mister, look," Cale said, standing up and setting the ice on the table. "I'm Cale Tucker." He held out his hand, expecting it to be shook in recognition. "You know, creator of the planet you're standing on? My dad built the Titan that saved our entire race, remember that little fact?"   
The man gave him a blank look before bursting into laughter. "You? Cale Tucker? I'm sorry, sir, I forgot to mention that I'm the Drej Queen."   
Cale replied with a stony glare.   
"Security," the man said, waving his hand.   
Akima gathered her purse when she saw two burly aliens heading toward their table. Cale put up a meek attempt at a struggle, but he gave up as he was lifted by the arms and gracefully deposited outside the front doors of the restaurant.   
Akima followed behind quietly and laughed at the defeated looking man sitting on the front sidewalk.   
"It was a good try," she assured him, giggling at the same time.   
"Oh, I can't believe that," he said, throwing a dirty look over his shoulder.   
"Get over it," she held out a hand to help him up. "You're a big boy."   
"No, I'm not," he pouted, but accepted her hand.   
"Okay then, if we buy you a Happy Meal from McTucker's will you feel better?" she asked, hailing a space cab.   
Cale nodded and they laughed, boarding the first craft that pulled up. 

* * *

Finished January 18, 2000   



End file.
